Many kids grow accustomed to mom or dad saying things three or four times. They don’t really even have to listen until a parent is frustrated and yelling at them. So how do we change this habit?
We make sure that we only ask once, and expect kids to act the first time.
Remember to follow AID:
A: Attention
I: Instruction
D: Direction
Attention: Get your child’s attention before you ask them to do anything. If they are watching TV, get between them and the box. If they are across the school yard, go to them. You need to be right beside the child.
Instruction: Once you have your child’s attention, give the instruction. Don’t ask, ‘Are you ready for dinner?’, say, ‘It’s time for dinner.’
Direction: You are right beside your child so if they don’t listen, now is the time to direct them to do the behaviour. ‘Are you turning off the TV or am I? Are you walking up to dinner on your own or with my help?’
When we ask things once and expect our kids to follow through the first time, we are teaching them a new habit.
Remember: Do not ask your kids to do something unless you are right there to ensure that it will happen the first time. This is especially important for parents with an infant and an older child. Too often, we repeatedly ask the older child to do something while we are changing the baby’s diaper. The older child knows that we cannot enforce our request so it falls on deaf ears.
This sounds like a hassle and it does require extra effort up front. However, it stops the energy-drain and frustration that comes from nagging incessantly and it teaches your kids to respond the first time. Once you’ve changed the habit, you can experiment with how far you need to be from your child when you give an instruction.
Tagged under: fighting,listen,listening,how to get kids to listen,arguing,parenting solutions,parenting power
Category: parenting
