Sometime last week, I was making out—or, as the kids these days say, hooking up—with The Man I’m Dating Exclusively. My kids were with my parents. The house was empty, except for the two of us. But I did the unthinkable in this day and age.
I forgot to turn my phone to Do Not Disturb mode.
As we were kissing, I noticed that The Man I’m Dating Exclusively was a little jumpy. When I asked if something was wrong he responded, “Your phone keeps ringing with text messages!” I didn’t even notice the constant bing of texts and e-mails. Why?
Because I have Mommy Ears.
If I were a superhero, my ‘Mommy Ears’ would be my superpower.
So what do I mean when I say I have ‘Mommy Ears’? It basically means that I can tune out any and all noise at any and all times if I choose. Babies crying on airplanes, for example? Don’t mind at all! In fact, I usually fall into a coma-like sleep on airplanes, even if there are babies or toddlers sitting behind me, in front of me, even beside me. Since they’re not mine, I can, and do, tune them out. And then I fall asleep.
When I take my six-year-old to a movie, I can tune out the sound and often nap.
Children in restaurants? Well, I prefer not to be seated next to a table of rowdy children, especially if I’m just with other adults, but that being said, I, too, can tune out other people’s children at restaurants as well. When I have my superpower Mommy Ears, I have the ability to tune out on demand.
At work, in our open office environment, if someone near me complains that others are being loud, I don’t even notice. Again, this is because my superpower as a mother is the ability to tune out the noise I don’t want to hear. And this includes tuning out talkative adults, as well. (That being said, I’m sure people sitting near me wish they had this superpower to tune me out when I’m in a talkative mood.)
So is it any wonder that while kissing The Man I’m Dating Exclusively, I didn’t notice that my phone was binging and pinging and ringing?
From the day our children are born, it’s not just our crying babies that suddenly turn our once peaceful lives into a life with a hell of a lot more noise. We get gifts, from the time they’re born, that make annoying noises. Sometimes the noise that comes out of these toys is so grating, that we either take out the batteries, or hide them at the bottom of the toy box, or threaten the person who got us the gift. (And you make a point of buying their kid an even louder, more annoying toy. Or at least that’s what I do!)
Noise? What noise?
Almost every one of my mommy friends talks about how annoying some kid’s television shows are. My now six-year-old may have been interested in Peppa Pig (I think I remember putting it on the television for him) but I’m not exactly sure. Why? Because after hearing Dora the Explorer, Calliou, and the Wiggles, for years after my daughter was born, I learned to just tune out the shows my second born is watching. I can even manage to sit beside him on the couch while he’s watching some show and read a book, that’s how strong my superpower is.
Some nights at my house, my daughter will be watching loud Youtube videos, and my son will be on his iPad playing games. Both seem to have their devices on the very top volume possible. And I’ll be sitting there actually working as if I were in a monastery surrounded by monks, not surrounded by two children and their loud devices. My Superpower Mommy Ears allow me to tune out anything or anyone, pretty much on demand. If my son has three friends over, running around the house chasing after each other with toy guns, I can also tune that out.
Some mothers find themselves stunned over the amount of noise which comes with motherhood. “There’s so much noise. All. The. Time. It feels like it’s 24 hours, 7 days a week. There’s whining, crying, chatting, banging, tapping, scratching, singing, buzzing, yelling, snoring, crunching, schlopping, chewing, slurping, stomping, clapping, singing, laughing,’ writes one mother of three, in this candid post.
“There are sound machines with crashing waves coming at me around every corner. There’s a baby (doll) crying, and then my real baby crying. There are toys going off even when no one is playing with them. There’s requests, questions, demands, negotiations, plans, adventures, stories, performances—at all times.” She writes how, sometimes, she yearns to sit in silence. “Alone. Not listening to anything or anyone. Sometimes, I just want to hear myself think. Sometimes, I just want the whining to stop.”
I wish I could hug this mother and say, “Don’t worry. If you try hard enough, you can learn to tune things out! That is, if you’re lucky enough to have, or can maybe train you Mommy Ears, to have this superpower of tuning out.”
If I hadn’t had children, I’m not sure I’d have this amazing ability.
But my Superpower Ears don’t just tune out the noise. My superpower Ears are also hyperaware when I need them to be. Urban Dictionary has a definition for Mom Ears. “The ability of a mother to hear what her children are up to even when they are very quiet about it and are in the next room.” Most mothers have this superpower to hear what their children are doing, even if they are upstairs and in the shower.
It really is as if your hearing changes—from being able to tune noises out to being able to hear what your child is saying in the next room, even if you’re in the shower—the moment you become a mother. It’s literally like you have a different set of ears, or at least your hearing changes. When both my children were babies, I think I woke up not when they started to cry, but a nano-second BEFORE they started to cry because my ears had become so hypersensitive. (Or my gut had become hypersensitive.)
One woman knows what it’s like to have your hearing change after becoming a mother. She writes “Mommy Ears” are a cure and a blessing. “I cannot tell you how many nights I’ve been up with my son only to have my husband wake in the morning to think we all slept through the night. And this isn’t a bash on my husband at all. To be honest, I kind of made him this way. He knows our son is safe in my hands during the night. He knows I’ll wake up from the sound of a tiptoe and his mind simply turns off come sleepy time.”
What mother hasn’t woken up knowing their kid is standing by their bed, even if they came in on tippy toes, making no noise at all? Obviously, we just feel it, or our hearing has become so good, it really is like having a superpower, and wakes us up.
So, yes, my superpower is having bionic ears, which can either tune out noise or be hypersensitive to hearing no noise when it comes to my kids, because no noise, as every mother knows, means something is up. Obviously, my superpower Mommy Ears, which can tune any noise out on demand, has moved into other aspects of my life
Next time I’m with the Man I’m Dating Exclusively, I’ll remember to turn my phone to Do Not Disturb Mode, or maybe just cover his ears.
Did your hearing change when you became a mother? Do you have Superpower Mommy Ears?
Tagged under: ears,kids' tv shows,there is no silence,sounds of silence,loud,being a supermom,loud children,crying baby,how to sleep,family restaurants,finding peace,noise pollution,noise,loud kids,superheros,superhero,hearing
Category: mom-101
