How did you feel after giving birth? Exhausted? Empowered? A little bit of both? At 6 pm Monday, London time, Princess Kate Middleton stepped out in heels, looking, as one Facebook commenter put it, “better after giving birth than I will ever look in my life.”
I think we can all agree that most of us didn’t look picture-perfect in the first few moments after expelling a human being from our bodies. Then again, most of us weren’t taking pictures that would literally go into history books. If I gave birth to an heir to the throne, I might cram my feet into some heels before greeting the masses too.
There is certainly a lot of pressure put on Kate post-partum. As though giving birth wasn’t an enormous feat in and of itself, she is expected to be camera-ready, courteous, cordial and iconic, only hours later. Even the baby looks serene in all of the greet the public photos. Everything is perfect. Everything is in its place. She looks like she is coming from afternoon tea, not like she is holding a whole person who was inside of her earlier this morning.
I do feel for Kate, and the responsibilities she has as the mother of the future king. But one thing Kate catches a lot of sympathy, and sometimes criticism, for I fully understand. I completely understand why Kate leaves the hospital so soon after giving birth.
Like Kate, I had a midwife for my second baby. Like Kate, I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and labour, and gave birth to a healthy, full-term baby. Right after he was born, he nursed for a bit, I had a sandwich, and then I was ready to get this show on the road.
My midwife told me they like to keep mom and baby there for about five hours after birth just for observation. I complied with this for my baby’s sake, but in all honesty, I felt fine to go immediately after I had him.
I was admitted to the hospital around 4 am, I gave birth just before 9 am, and we were home a little past noon. And it was perfect. With my first, I’d spent three days there while my son was under observation in the NICU. With baby number two, I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there.
One of the benefits to having a midwife is that they visit your house for check-ups the following day and in the weeks after giving birth. This is true for women in Canada and the U.K., whether or not you are a princess. Chances are, Kate would have gone home every bit as quickly if she was Katie from the block, not Princess Kate.
I didn’t have a staff waiting for me when I got home as I imagine Kate did, but I had a supportive family, and I had my midwife. Sleeping in my own bed the night after giving birth was a luxury, not a hardship. Sitting on my own couch, watching Netflix, nursing and drinking coffee with nobody bugging me? Yes please.
When I tell people I went home less than five hours after giving birth, I’m often met with “the face.” It’s a face that says, “What, are you crazy? Why would you do that?” The norm in Canada is to spend 24 hours in hospital post-partum, so going home so quickly seems crazy. It seems extra crazy to my mother, who spent a week in hospital after each child. But these days, as nurseries are phased out, and babies are cared for by their mothers in-room, what is the advantage of staying? If mom feels up to it and will be receiving proper care at home, why not book it as soon as possible?
I’m not advocating for kicking moms out before they are ready, like some sort of birthing assembly line. If she wants to stay the night, or the full 24+ hours, more power to her. I’m just saying that when moms like Kate, or me, go home hours after giving birth, sometimes it’s because they very much wanted to.
So I don’t envy Kate the obligation to get gussied up before even getting rid of the giant mesh underwear. Nor would I like to have my photo taken for all posterity, and be featured on the covers of magazines and every news outlet in the world, when all I felt like doing was eating some pizza and relaxing with my new baby.
But I get why she went home so soon, and I don’t judge her for it. I may have done it in sweatpants and a shirt I’d been wearing for three days, but I walked out of that hospital hours later too, and I’d do it again.
Photo credit: Vanity Fair
Tagged under: royal baby,pregnancy,midwife,kate middleton,birth,pregnancy and birth
Category: mom-101
